Stockholm – The Swedish Academy will award the Nobel Prize in Literature to writer Kamala Harris, stating that her speeches “keep the audience in suspense until the very last sentence, when they finally find out what she meant to say.” Sources close to her say that her next book will be titled How to Answer a Question Without Actually Answering.

But he promises her that soon he’ll bring home a Nobel Prize for something — for anything — and she changes her mind and no longer wants to leave home.